Chapter 25 - A New, Better Hero is Found

With the imprisonment of Aaron The Ruler of the Universe (and the candy store owner) was getting nervous, two heroes had failed to rid the land of the tsetse fly menace and it was soon time for annual performance reviews. The Ruler of the Universe (and the candy store owner) put all available resources (except the ones for the candy store) into finding a hero that would actually save the world and not just look good for the advertisements. The new hero had to be brave, dedicated, strong and most of all have a catchy name, after all why bother getting the world saved if nobody can remember the name of the person who did the saving? Thus a catchy name committee was created to catch any characters with catchy names. Unfortunately the committee could only catch one catchyly named character before the word catchy was used enough times to render it a non-word and thus they had to go with Gorloth the Green, the mighty warrior from a place with a much less catchy name. Despite the name, Gorloth was infact Green, Green with the envy of a thousand burning suns! But Gorloth was also Blue, Blue with the sadness of hundreds of happy children, and Red, Red with the fury of tiny little tweezers. Gorloth happened to be many colors with the emotions of many people and things, for Gorloth the Green was in the business of displaced emotion. He would adopt your emotion for a nominal fee and leave you free from the burdens of having to deal with it, resulting in the betterment of everyone (except that time he bought all the Golden happiness of all his neighbors). Gorloth the Green had a simple plan to not only save the world from the tsetse fly threat but also substantially increase his business capacity. He would trick the flies into becoming partners in his business and then he could unload all the Brown laziness of beavers and Deep blue sleepiness of insomniacs onto the flies thus rendering them too tired and lethargic to continue their rein of terror. Suddenly the Mauve paranoia of cacti coupled with the Silver greed of philanthropy overcame him. What if the flies were better than he was? What if they took all his business? What if they stole his customers right out from under him and shifted full-time to their new stolen jobs, thus simultaneously ending the rein of terror and taking the credit for it while gaining a monopoly in a high demand market!? This was too much thinking for Gorloth’s puce ignorance of scientists and thus he stopped and continued on his quest. Gorloth neared the flies’s stronghold and with the yellow fear of a warrior he knocked on the door.